Human-Dog problem Tree - PART FIVE
The issue of detachment, or is attachment the issue?
- Would you say that your behavior is at least slightly different at work then it is at home?
- Perhaps you are more in control of your emotions at work?
- Perhaps you are more hyper at work which causes you to veg-out in front of the TV when you get home?
Did you know that dog trainers are at work when they are trying to help you address your canine quandary?
Ok, so that was kind of a snarky remark, so let me back track a bit.When I’m working with a client I MUST project confidence, high energy and intelligence.- I MUST stay on my toes and be at my sharpest.
- I CAN NOT let emotions cloud my judgment,
- I MUST think in terms of the best possible outcome.
- I CANT take anything a dog (or the owner) does personally and to heart.
- I must “detach” myself from the process and assume a birds eye view of the situation, get the big picture and act in everyone’s best interest. After all, this is what I get paid to do.
Now let’s consider the way a typical owner approaches a walk or a training session or any situation involving his dog.
Besides, the dog owner wants to relax when he's with his dog and “be himself”.
- He is too tired to think about the outcome,
- He is still thinking about that thing that happened at work, and that meeting he had with the client.
- He provides food and shelter for this dog, isn’t that enough?
- How dare he be disobedient, doesn’t he know what I go through to keep a roof over his head?
- Taking care of this dog feels like a job and I don’t even get paid for it…this sucks.
This time its personal
Everything a dog does -in the view of the dog owner- is personal.
The dog owner takes everything to heart and often reacts emotionally when facing a misbehaving canine. So let me say this again.
The extent of your success will depend directly on the extent to which you are able to replicate these attributes inherent in the nature of dog training profession.
These attributes are inherent in the relationship between a dog, dog owner and dog trainer. Dog trainers get paid to be calm, cool and collected.
I bet that you (the dog owner) would do much better with somebody else’s dog with which you have no emotional attachment all the while making money for doing it. Don’t you think?How do we get past this? Here are few suggestions.- Detach yourself from the outcome.
- Enjoy the process.
- Don’t expect perfection or blind obedience.
- Understand that your dog will perform only to the level to which you’ve met his (the dog’s) needs.
- Bring MORE to the table (confidence, energy, intelligence, knowledge, etc).
- Don’t take things personally, it’s just a dog.
- Would you be mad at a human baby for pooping his pants? So why are you mad at a dog for being a dog?
The issue of detachment is a subtle one. I hope I’ve been able to relate it in a useful fashion.
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Human-Dog Problem Tree - PART SIX
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Comments 7 Comments
I've always thought of it, quite simply, like this:
A dog is a dog.
A dog's behaviors are not to be interpreted as human behaviors. (IE: The dog will not potty in your shoe because you left him in his crate five minutes longer than usual last Tuesday. He's a dog; he doesn't even remember that. In fact, he was probably worried and found your scent comforting and picked there to go.)
I think that dog owners don't actually know what a dog is.
I think dog trainers have a better IDEA of what a dog is.
Do you think that that (the above) falls under the same detachment subject? I've always thought of it as a different one, but that doesn't mean it is. (Oh, I'm thinking of anthropomorphism...that's why.)
Anyway, good read. Don't mind me; I should be sleeping. o_o
I know this.
What I don't know is why I went on this long tangent about anthropomorphism.... because I knew you were talking about...
Ah... -________-;;
*finds a rock to crawl under* I'm sorry.
Anthropomorphism and the attachment issue are different but all far under the human-nature, so they are related in some ways.
Anthropomorphism is another issue that I dont like painting as black and white. Its useful to treat dogs as dogs and make sure their doggy needs are met (helping them fulfill their breed-specific function for example...Grayhounds like to run...bloodhounds like to sniff..that sort of thing)
On the other hand, it CAN be useful to think of dogs as kids. Example: Would you NOT train a kid? We send kids to school, dont we? SO it stands to reason that we should send/take dogs to school as well.
We wouldnt deliberately undersocialize our kids, would we? So why would we undersocialize our dogs?
Both dogs and kids are living beings that depend on us to meet their needs and provide guidance. In those terms , kids and dogs are exactly the same.
(Do I have this right?) Anthropomorphism IS bad...if you use it to try to psychoanalyze the dog or explain why he did something. (Psychoanalysis has never proven useful for me when it comes to canines. You?)
However...
Anthropomorphism is not bad when used to think of the dog as a member of the family. Like you said, kids go to school, so why not your furkids?
I think I've got the concept of this right...just never thought about it that way. o_o;;